My ex-husband and I were married for ten years and have been divorced for five. We share three children, and the main reason for our separation was the imbalance in household responsibilities. I was working full-time while also taking care of nearly all the daily tasks at home. After many attempts to improve the situation without success, I decided to end the marriage so I could focus on creating a stable environment for our children. He received regular visitation and contributes financially to their care.
A few months after our divorce, he entered a new relationship and later welcomed another child. My children have not always felt comfortable at his home, but I make sure to speak positively about their father and encourage a respectful attitude.
About a year after the divorce, I reconnected with an old friend. Our friendship grew, and we eventually married. He treats my children with love and support, and our home life has become calm and happy.
Some time later, my ex-husband requested shared custody. From my perspective, the purpose seemed to be reducing financial obligations rather than increasing involvement with the children. The court did not grant his request, and the original arrangement remained in place. I later received a significant promotion at work, but our state only allows child-support recalculations every two years, so nothing can be changed until then.
For several months, his wife attempted to speak with me, and eventually she approached me during my oldest child’s game. She explained that their household was facing financial difficulties and asked me to consider the needs of her children. I calmly clarified that child support is meant for our shared children and that I cannot take responsibility for children who are not mine. I did not intend to be unkind, but she continued insisting, and I felt the need to set a boundary.
Later, I received a message from her urging me to reduce or return the financial support, or allow my husband to adopt their child to relieve my ex-husband of his legal obligations. I forwarded the message to my lawyer and chose not to engage further, as I want to keep communication respectful and focused on what is best for my children.
My only priority is maintaining a stable environment for my kids, and I am simply questioning whether my response to her was too direct or appropriate for the situation.