My father passed away when I was 10 year old. So it has just been my mom and I. She had a couple of boyfriends here and there. I had no issues with her dating at all. In fact, I used to joke about not minding a stepfather before I hit 18. So this is not a situation where I want my mother all to myself.
I just completed junior year last spring semester. I told her that I was coming back home on a certain date when I was actually coming back two days earlier. I opened the garage and my mother immediately opened the door. She looked more shocked and concerned than actually happy to see me. She asked my what I was doing there? I jokingly asked if I should came back later and even teased her about asking if she had company. (We had that kind of a relationship). Then she reluctantly let me in and said it was okay.
When I entered the house, lo and behold, Frank was there. Frank was someone I went to high school. We weren’t close but we didn’t have an adversarial relationship. We shared classes together, had common friends, and went to the same parties.
I didn’t connect the dots immediately. I asked what is he doing at my house. Then I said I didn’t notice a car outside. Frank responded awkwardly,and said his car was in the garage for repair. I asked again what was he doing at my house. My mother finally spoke up and told me she was seeing Frank. I was like WTF and told her not only was he my age but also my former classmate. She said she knew. I angrily asked why was she dating him of all people. She told me to calm down and explain the situation. Frank said he would take an uber back home. After he left, my mother told me everything. She met him on an app. I tried not to think if she had any run ins with anyone else that I knew. They went on a short date and he did asked about me because of my last name. She told him she was my mother but he shouldn’t worry about it and see where things go. I was disturbed to say the least. They apparently have been seeing each other for six months.
She said she would understand I would need time to come to terms with it and was eventually planning on telling me about the relationship. My mother said she understood why I was upset but I need to accept that they’re not doing anything wrong and everyone is an adult.
My relationship changed with her that day. She tried to talk to me but kept her at arms length. She was still seeing Frank. In fact, he came to my house several times. He even stayed the night. I told her I don’t want to get involved in their relationship but if she could not have Frank come to our house so often. She got upset and told me to stay out of her business. The whole summer went by like this. When I went back to the fall semester, she tried calling me but she eventually got the message I don’t really want to talk to her. I honestly didn’t want to come back home for the winter session. I asked my grandparents(my dad’s parents) if I could stay with them for the winter. They were ecstatic to say the least. Two days ago, I got a call from her asking me about when was the fall semester ending. My mother asked me if it was okay if Frank can move from his dorm and live in our house at the end of the year. Instead of giving her the option to choose between us, I decided to remove myself from the situation. I told her truth about where I was going to stay. She broke down on the phone asked her why I just couldn’t be happy for her. I told her she has the right to date whoever and frankly, its not my business so I am not going to come between her and Frank. I still have the right to my feelings and I am going to keep my distance. She hung up the phone and told my grandparents. My grandparents are still letting me stay at their place though.