I (32f) have two children (11 and 10) with my ex-husband (34m). We divorced 7 years ago and have not been able to remain on good terms. He remarried 3.5 years ago and the bad bl**d between us grew worse at that point. She was never happy about my presence at school functions for the kids and she’d always make a point of sitting between me and my ex and complaining that the kids would hug me first. But that wasn’t the worst of it. At one of those school functions she accused me of pinching her daughter. Luckily others saw what happened and knew I hadn’t. But this woman went ballistic accusing me. Why? I stopped her 4 year old (at the time) from falling over.
After that I made sure I sat the other side of any room as them and I swore I would have nothing to do with this woman’s children (she has two). The lucky thing for me is my kids aren’t close to them and don’t ever ask to invite them over or include them in birthday parties that I throw for them. This makes it easier to keep my distance so no more accusations come my way. And this woman still brings up the pinching accusation and how she should have called the cops and had me thrown in j**l.
A few weeks ago my ex and his wife were in a car crash. It was his custody week (we split the kids 50-50). His babysitter called me after they didn’t come back home and told me she had no idea what to do and I was one of the emergency contact numbers given. I tried calling him and he didn’t answer and then I got a call from his mom who told me about the accident and the fact they would be in the hospital for a while. I told her the babysitter had called me and they might want to send someone for the younger kids. After that I went and picked up my kids. The babysitter wanted me to take or stay with all four. My kids wanted to come home and didn’t want their stepsiblings there. I told the babysitter the other kids weren’t mine and I gave her my ex’s mom’s number so she could call since ex gave her mine and a number that wasn’t working as the emergency contacts.
The kids and I stopped by the hospital the next morning and my ex was pissed that I left his stepkids with the babysitter and didn’t do more for them. I refused to engage with him on that in front of our kids. But his anger intensified when (from the sounds of it) nobody in his or her family would take care of them. He wanted me to do it but I said no and I told him I was nothing to his stepkids nor would I ever be anything to them and I was not risking his accusation happy wife trying to destroy me with her lies.
My ex is still pissed at me and he has called me every name under the sun since the accident. His wife was hurt more seriously than him and she’s not even close to fully recovered while he mostly is. I think that’s fueling this more but his anger toward me has led me to document all interactions we have now because he’s so volatile with me. He told me I should be ashamed for taking our issues out on his stepkids.
I feel like I did the right thing because those kids are not my concern even under the circumstances. My concern is more about any accusation she could throw my way and how that could affect me being a mom to my kids. But I can see where that might be heartless given what the circumstances were at the time.
AITAH?