I grew up in a family where most of the attention was directed toward my older brother while I was expected to support everyone around me. Since childhood, I often adjusted my routine, my school life, and even my personal goals to keep the family stable. Over time, this created a pattern where my needs were always secondary, and my role became more about responsibility than childhood.
As we got older, things didn’t change. My brother received more opportunities and financial help, while I focused on building my own future through hard work, online education, financial planning, and personal development. Later, I moved abroad to start a stable career and create long-term security, including health insurance, legal help when needed, and better financial organization.
A few weeks ago, my parents contacted me, explaining that my brother is facing another difficult moment. Without asking about my life or responsibilities, they immediately expected me to travel, take unpaid leave, handle expenses, and provide long-term support. They assumed I would drop everything, just like I used to when I was younger.
For the first time, I said no.
I explained that I care about them, but I also have my own obligations: a demanding job, financial commitments, legal processes, personal goals, and my own mental well-being. Some relatives criticized my decision and called me selfish, saying that “family comes first,” even if it means sacrificing my future.
But I realized something important: caring about your family does not mean abandoning your stability, your career, or your financial future. Healthy boundaries matter. Support should be shared, not placed entirely on one person.
A friend told me:
“You can love your family without giving up your whole life for them.”
And that sentence changed everything for me.
So here is my question:
AITA for refusing to drop everything and travel back home to take care of my brother again?
I still care about him and hope he receives the professional health support he needs, but I also know that maintaining balance is essential for my well-being, my career, and my long-term financial planning.