I’m a 24-year-old woman, and for the last few years I’ve been focusing heavily on my education, financial planning, and improving my long-term stability. I moved in with my maternal grandparents when I turned 18 because they always supported my goals and encouraged me to work on my credit score, digital security, and overall personal development.
My relationship with my dad’s side of the family has always been complicated. They tend to pressure people into decisions and expect everyone to “step up” even when the responsibility doesn’t make sense.
A few months ago, they contacted me out of nowhere about a young child in the extended family — someone I’ve never met, never spoken to, and honestly didn’t even know existed. They told me that social services were looking for a relative who could be considered as an option in the guardianship process. Then they added that I should be the one to handle it.
I explained clearly that I’m not in a position to take on that level of responsibility. I’m working part-time while studying, managing student loan payments, and trying to build enough stability to qualify for affordable home insurance and future housing. Becoming a guardian means legal advice, financial responsibility, and long-term planning that I am simply not ready for.
But they kept pushing.
They said things like “family comes first,” “you’re the only one who can do this,” and “it’s just temporary.” They even contacted my maternal grandparents trying to convince them to pressure me into changing my mind. Thankfully, my grandparents told them that it’s unfair to expect a 24-year-old to take on a lifelong responsibility without the financial foundation to support it.
My dad’s family reached out again recently, saying the social worker wanted to know if I had reconsidered. I told them that I care about the child’s safety and hope she finds a stable home, but I will not put my future at risk by taking on something I cannot handle. I offered to help by researching resources or providing information — but I will not become a guardian or co-guardian.
They’re now acting like I’ve abandoned them and the child, even though I was never involved in the first place. They’re calling me selfish for prioritizing my career, financial security, and long-term stability. But I feel like I’m just being realistic instead of agreeing to something that could negatively affect both my life and the child’s.
So… AITA for refusing to take responsibility for a child I’ve never met and am not prepared to support?