I am a 44-year-old mom with a 16-year-old son. He has been in a relationship with a girl the same age for the last seven months. My husband (46) and I have always been open about the responsibilities of reproductive health and family planning, believing in the importance of making conscious and responsible decisions. Our son is aware of the available contraception methods. However, the age of 16 carries its own set of challenges.
My son sat us down to share surprising news: his girlfriend is pregnant. I hadn’t expected this, but I realized that where there is a will, there is a way.
Two days after finding out, the girl came over to talk to us. She appeared very distressed. She explained that she has a $4.0$ GPA and aspires to achieve the highest educational degree to become a Psychiatrist. She has a clear professional development plan for the next ten years.
I asked her about her decision, and she honestly stated that having a baby now could “ruin” her planned educational and professional trajectory. At this point, I presented her with options that would safeguard her future: either the Adoption Option or considering a Medical Procedure for Termination. I offered to cover the Financial Cost of the procedure, as my son was equally responsible.
The girl decided she would go home and inform her parents that she prefers to terminate the pregnancy.
The next day, I received an angry call from the girl’s mother, who accused me of encouraging a decision they did not approve of. I explained that her daughter has a wonderful educational future ahead of her, and I was trying to protect her future investment. I also pointed out the complexities of Family Law, Child Custody, and Child Support that could arise from a future separation.
The mother insisted that her daughter should keep the baby. This is where I might have been wrong, as I told her that if she forced her daughter to carry the baby, I would assist the girl in making the Legal Decision to Relinquish Custody. The conversation ended with verbal abuse and me hanging up.
My husband feels we may have intervened too much. But I love my son and know he is not Financially or Psychologically ready to be a father right now. He is struggling with mental health challenges and is undergoing Behavioral Therapy sessions. I do not want a baby born into less than ideal circumstances. But the question remains: Should I have been less direct with the girlfriend’s mother?